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Detention!
This is the first episode of Matt High. Script Scene 1 Jimmie Millard, Joseph Crawford, Gordie Earl, Lloyd Jacob, Cooper Loyd, and Kody Vernon are hanging outside the school in the courtyard. Joseph: Man, I can't wait for high school to start! I'm gonna fail all my classes because I'm cool, and the cool kids always fail. Always. Cooper: Are you sure that's the best way to be cool? Joseph: Nope. Kody: Anyways, I've been working on making my own 3x3 cube! Gordie: Like a Rubik's Cube? Kody: Exactly. I call it the MattCube, because my middle name is Matthew. Jimmie: No way, mine too! That's awesome! Joseph: Anyways, I heard that all the students whose names start with L, C, K, J, and G are all in the same homeroom this year. Gordie: Aaand? Lloyd: It means we all get to be in the same homeroom! Gordie: Ohhh yeahhhh. Yay! High fives go all around. Cooper: That's really random. It's almost time to go in. The school bell rings Jimmie: And now it's time to go in. Jimmie and friends go in and get to homeroom. Cooper is the last to come in, and he is 1 second late. Mr. Krumpus: You!!!!!!! Cooper: Me??????? Mr. Krumpus: Detention for showing up to homeroom one second late. Garfield Foster: What the fish? Jed Foster: He's one second late. That's not fair. Mr. Krumpus: Welp, I'm an unreasonable jerk. Garfield: And now you're making up words? Jed: You are one weird teacher. Mr. Krumpus: You know, when you two are talking, it sounds like you have the same voice Jed: We're identical twins. What do you expect? Mr. Krumpus: At least some distinguishable characteristic between you two. Cooper: Good luck with that. They were literally born 37.182 seconds apart. Mr. Krumpus: Wait, how the fish do you know that? Cooper: Garfield and Jed are old friends of mine. Lloyd: Mine too. Jimmie: And mine. Gordie: In fact, all of us are. We were all born within an hour of each other. Mr. Krumpus: Wow. Joseph: The point is, Cooper, come sit down. We're going to get you out of detention somehow. Scene 2 5 hours later, it's 1:00 p.m. and Cooper, Kody, Jimmie, Joseph, Gordie, and Lloyd are all in detention. Kody: How the heck did we all end up in detention? Jimmie: Well, let's all tell each other how it happened to pass the time. Joseph: Okay. Cooper: We all know my story, so... Lloyd, care to go first? Lloyd: Okay. It was around 9:30.... Scene 3 In Lloyd's flashback, Lloyd is in science class during a lecture on quantum physics. Jasper Sterling: Hey Lloyd. Hey Lloyd. Heyyyy Lloyd. Lloyd: Shut up. (makes a gun gesture at Jasper) Pow. Jasper: MR. HARTMAAAANNNNNN! Mr. Hartmann: Lloyd, what did you do? Jasper: He made a gun gesture at me, and then said, "Pow." Mr. Hartmann: DETENTION! Go to room 108 at 1:00. Lloyd: Why? Mr. Hartmann: Any weapons, real or imaginary, are considered school-inappropriate. Lloyd: No fair. Jasper: Yes! Mr. Hartmann: Not so fast, Jasper. You screamed out "MR. HARTMAAAANNNNNN!" in class. Detention for you too. Scene 4 Kody: That makes no sense. Jasper: Pow. (makes a gun gesture at Lloyd and gets tackled by Mr. Fattie) HELP MEEEEE! Lloyd: Nope. Joseph: I'll go next. It was in study hall.... Scene 5 Joseph and Norm Brewster were having a staring contest in study hall. In the middle of it, Mr. Akerman came in between them. Mr. Akerman: Detention for both of you for intimidating behavior. Joseph: No fair! Scene 6 Norm: We were competing to decide who would buy lunch for who over the weekend. Kody: So if no one won, then what happens? Joseph: I dunno? Lloyd: (with The Official Rulebook of Staring Contests in his hand) According to The Official Rulebook of Staring Contests, and I quote, "In a staring contest involving buying lunch, if someone comes in between the two competitors during said contest, if it causes them both to blink, they both buy lunch for each other, as there was no winner." Garfield: So that solves that. Jimmie: Man, these reasons are so stupid! Jed: Garfield and I will go next. Garfield: It was in algebra..... Scene 7 Mr. Fattie: Garfield Foster? Garfield: Here. Mr. Fattie: Jed Fuster? Jed: (from the other side of the room) Here. Mr. Fattie: Whoa whoa whoa! What is happening? Garfield? Why are you in Jed's seat? Jed: I'm Jed. We're twins. Mr. Fattie: But your last name is Fuster. Garfield: Let me check your attendance sheet. That's probably a typo. Mr. Fattie: I'm confused. Detention for both of you. Jed: No fair! Garfield: Why? Mr. Fattie: Because you're trying to confuse me, and then you're lying. Garfield: JED'S SCHOOL RECORD SAYS FOSTER! JED FOSTER! YOU MUST HAVE MADE A TYPO WHEN YOU WERE MAKING YOUR ATTENDANCE SHEETS! Scene 8 Garfield: So that's our story. Jimmie: (makes a gun gesture at himself) Pow. These reasons are all stupid. But not as stupid as mine.... Scene 9 Jimmie: Banana. Mr. Triggs: Detention for arbitrary talking. Scene 10 Joseph: This stinks! We're all in detention for the stupidest reasons ever. Kody: I'll try to beat you all. It was during a break.... Scene 11 Kody: This bench is awesome! (sits down on it) Mr. Fattie: Hey! That's my spot. Kody: I don't see your name on it. Mr. Fattie: (lifts Kody up and writes "Rufus Fattie" on the bench) Yes it does. Kody: YOU JUST PUT IT THERE! Mr. Fattie: Detention! Scene 12 Jimmie: These stories make me wonder what our parents were all thinking when they enrolled us here. Kody: They probably all love the principal, Matt Wolf. Gordie: Mine made more sense. But not that much. Scene 13 Gordie: Hello, Mark. Touch. (touches Mark) Mark: OWWWW! I'M GONNA DIE! FAINT! (Mark faints) Mr. Fattie: Gordie and Mark, detentions for both of you. Gordie for touching a stupid-- I mean studpie..... I mean stuoid... situdinmo..... stupendouse...... student, and Mark for overreacting. Scene 14 Cooper: That one makes sense. Mark: It was all part of my diabolical plan. Muahahahahahaaaaaaa. Mr. Fattie: POO. Okay everyone, time for class. Cooper: Nope. Garfield: Cooper, what are you doing? Cooper: I'm going to get Mr. Fattie, Mr. Krumpus, Mr. Akerman, and Mr. Triggs fired. Kody: You forgot Mr. Hartmann. Cooper: Yeah, him too. Jed: He's right, Garfield. They got us in here, now we're getting them outta here. Scene 15 Cooper: Welp, all the teachers got fired. Now it's only a matter of time until anarchy breaks loose. Jed: Welp? Lloyd: Wait, if there are no teachers, there are no rules! WOOHOOOOOOOO! (throws a potato out the window) Jasper: Pow. (faints) (unfaints and starts singing) A POTATO FLEW AROUND MY ROOOOOOOOOOOOM! Kody: Um, Lloyd, are you okay? Matt Wolf: I am the principal. And I hired new, less stupid teachers. Cooper: Who are they? Matt Wolf: I'll tell you in the next episode. Jasper: MUUUUSTAAAAARD! Matt: ................................ The screen fades to black, while Jasper starts singing about salt and mustard. Category:Randomness Category:Scripts Category:Matt High Category:An apple stole your wallet. Category:Washing the pizza Category:White plastic smells like white plastic.